The Generation Gap

It’s funny how fathers can’t understand their children. Take my dad, for instance. He tries – very hard – to take me for who I am, to accept me, be proud of me and to support me; but he just doesn’t seem to be able to do it. For him there is only one real way forward. You start a career in a company, you work your way up and you become somebody important.

It’s not such a strange idea, really. It means job security, it means a supportive network of people around you, it means identity, corporate understanding and stability. It also signifies something that is not me. I am incapable of the corporate culture. I am a person who doesn’t agree with the hierarchical process of progression inherent in the international organisation. My nature doesn’t accept superiors, especially when I can’t avoid the strong suspicions that those individuals above me are inadequate and possibly even incompetent.

He can’t understand that, however. It just doesn’t agree with how he sees the world. Which is unfortunate, because when I look at him I see somebody that deep down isn’t truly happy. He had to fight throughout his entire experience at the firm and he still fights now, even when he’s retired. He fights with himself now, mainly. He’s given up fighting with us, as we have learned how to deal with him.

There is wisdom in what he has to say, no doubt. How could there not be? After all, he’s had sixty years to learn and he’s always put food on the table and a roof over our head. Somehow, though, what he has to say always comes out angry, confused and bitter.

Tonight was one of the first time where we were able to disagree for longer than fifteen minutes without shouting. We still couldn’t come to an agreement, but at least there were no angry words and his walking away from the room only lasted for a few minutes, as he went inside the restaurant to pay.

He is a kind man. He truly does have a golden heart and means the best for me. It’s just so unfortunate that he’s such a difficult man. I wish, deep down, that we could talk better, but I’m just as unwilling to back down from my own beliefs as he is to back down from his.