Crash and Learn

The last few days we’ve crashed hard. I guess that’s the consequence of partying non-stop, without sleep for two weeks. We just got hour from a 15 hour sleep. We were only supposed to sleep for one or two, get up, have dinner, possibly a few drinks and only then start our night rest; but it seems our bodies thought different.

I do feel better now. I’m almost back to normal. Still, I’ll be sure not to do anything like this again. It just isn’t really worth it, if you ask me. Admittedly, it does look like we picked up a bug at the end. Two of us had bad stomachs, while one of us couldn’t even really eat. For me, turning my head to fast made me light headed, which is really annoying when somebody calls out your name behind you and you turn to meet them. I think I’ve had that feeling before, somewhere, but I can’t remember when.

When my mates have buggered off (which will be tomorrow) I’m going to commence a period of isolation. I haven’t really had a great deal of time, lately, to be on my own and consider the lessons learned.

I’ll have till the 18^th of January to do exactly that. I was thinking of hitting the gym every day, eating healthy, wholesome food and spending time only with those people that I actually want to spend time with. What ever time remains I’ll spend on the beach either writing or reading (more of the former right now, it seems, because I have no good books and I haven’t seen any book stores that might help alleviate that problem).

There is a bit of a sense of guilt that I’m feeling over the last few days. One of my mates from Singapore just rocked up and said exactly that. I told him that it wasn’t his fault, but logic rarely actually changes how you feel. I know that, because I feel the same way. There is a sense that time was wasted that could have been so much better spent. Where were the new ideas, the new amazing friends and the new dreams that were supposed to arise out of these last days?

I guess I’m actually getting older; not old, mind you, but older - more responsible. The time to fuck around seems to be passing and I feel there is much more of an urge to actually really get a move on.

Of course, apparently I didn’t feel that way two weeks ago when I first hit Goa, otherwise I wouldn’t have done the things I did. We’ll see if I remain this ‘wise’ when the next get together comes along, but for now I’d like to think that I’ve finally taken to heart the lesson ‘everything in moderation’.