Open invitation

I’ve been reading this book about body language called, surprisingly enough, ‘Body Language’ by Allan and Barbara Pease. I’ve read it once before, but decided to read it again as I didn’t get as much out of it as I could have got the first time. Now I found this one trick in the book that I decided to try out the other night and the response was amazing.

But before I tell you about the trick, some background information about my self. I’m not sure why but apparently I’m a very unapproachable person. People I don’t know almost never just walk up to me to start a conversation (neither guys nor girls). I’ve never been able to figure out why. I’ve tried opening up my body language, smiling and a whole host of other things, but it never generated any approaches (though it did cause quite a few people to look over in interest).

It can’t be because I’m ‘too good looking’ or anything like that, because I have this mate here in Bangalore who also models is at least as good looking as my self and constantly gets approached by both women and men (including me on the very first day I came out here).

I had accepted that there was something about me that just didn’t make me seem approachable. That is, until last night. Last night I tried something (only once, admittedly) and the response was tremendous. The girl I did it to (I’m generally far more interested in attracting women to come talk to me than men. I realise that is sexist, but then anybody that prefers one sex over the other can be labelled as sexist, in that case!) smiled immensely broadly and actually waved. She even almost walked over, but then checked herself as she became uncertain (I could see the uncertainty suddenly cloud her face) and she walked by. I could have stopped her right there and then, if I’d wanted to, but I was still too amazed by the reaction that a simple gesture had provoked.

I can hear you thinking, even now, ‘okay, you jerk, great story, but what was the gesture?’ Ah hah! I’m not going to tell you. No wait, yes I am. The gesture was what is called an ‘eyebrow flash’. That does not mean you burn off your eyebrows, put lights in them or anything like that (though I’m sure people would talk to you if you put lights in your eyebrows). It just means that you quickly raise and lower your eyebrows.

The reason this is effective is that this is something that we do to people we know and want to talk to. It’s a subconscious signal that tells the other person we recognise them and are willing to talk. Doing it consciously towards a person is basically inviting them in for a conversation. They can approach without fear of rejection.

‘Yeah right’ many of you now think, ‘so how come I never noticed it?’ That’s because it is subconscious, just like a ton of others signals. But I have a much better idea than trying to convince you. I’m going to tell you to try it. If it doesn’t work, well then you’ve really not made a fool of yourself (unless, of course, you think raising and lowering your eyebrows makes you look foolish) and if it does work, well imagine the possibilities!

And it works. That’s the great thing. You might not get everybody to approach, but you’ll certainly get a lot of smiles and positive reactions. In fact, I’m not sure why I’m sitting here typing this. I’m going to go out on the street and try it. And yes, I will also ‘eyebrow flash’ a few men as well, for equality’s sake.