Baby toys

I really don’t have anything out of the ordinary to talk about today (or rather, I’ve already spent enough words on the things I want to talk about and I’m not really reading anything interesting.) so I’m going to do what I always do when that’s the case: Blabber.

It’s just a matter of letting the words roll out and hope something at least mildly interesting rolls out along the way (a million monkeys with a millions typewriters).

This is probably nothing new to all of you out there, but I think I might have become terribly vain. (yes, you’re allowed to kick me if you already knew this. You can either virtually kick me in the comments, or keep it till you see me again; that’s up to you). I’ve turned into a gym junky (monkey?) and do care about how I look. No, I haven’t yet turned into one of those creatures who has to look into every shiny surface – but my looks have certainly become important to me.

Or maybe it’s not that I’ve turned vain, but I just didn’t care about it /at all/ previously. Which ever is the case, I’ve certainly started to care about it a great deal more than in years of yore. Is that a good thing?

Well, I suspect that ultimately you can make a much better impression if you look better and if you’re at least a little bit vain, then you’re going to care about whether you look better, but that’s a trade off with how much time you actually spend on looking good. So far it’s basically not that much more than going to the gym and that (with travel time) takes about 10 hours a week – but that fortunately has extra benefits.

Maybe I’m not vain but just arrogant? Am I arrogant or just self confident? (I warned you I really didn’t have anything to talk about – add to that that I’ve just finished at the gym and therefore drugged up on endorphins and you get a pretty good idea why I’m rattling on like a oil barrel full of angry cats). The difference between self-confidence and arrogance is that arrogant people have no basis to feel the way they do, while the self-confident do. So do I have a basis?

I think I do, but then I assume that most arrogant people do as well. Maybe the difference between self-confidence and arrogance is just a matter of perspective? It always makes me wonder how I’m perceived.

That reminds me: Wouldn’t it be great if after you leave a place you could get the honest opinion of the people that knew you there? Like a little book where people get to say what they really feel.

That would have been the perfect farewell present for Palolem for me. Till this day I wonder if people were only nice to me to my face or were also nice to me when I had my back turned.

Unfortunately nobody made a book like that for me and I guess they never will. In the end your view of how others see you will always be affected by the subjectivity of your own view.

Hopefully next post I’ll actually have something to talk about.