Self importance

All of us believe that we are more important than we are. This is commonly referred to as the 'Halo' effect. It is in our nature to exagerate our own self-importance. In fact, in a way we aren't, because in our own world we really are as important as we think we are. It is only when we try to incorperate our own percieved self-mportance with the world view of others that we walk into a wall. Funnily enough, many people don't even realise that they have just walked into one.

When I say everybody believes they are more important than they are I do really mean everybody. Though there might be exceptions, I haven't met any yet. Some people might say 'how about those people who are depressed?' well, a person who is depressed is also almost always self-obsessed. They regard their own missery of primary importance, with everything else (including other people) secondary. 'What about people who are shy, don't they do that because they believe they aren't important?' No, not really. In fact they are saying exactly the opposite. most shy people don't realise this, but what they are really saying is 'I matter so much in other people's lives that they will actually think about the stupid things I've said and the talk about the stupid things I've done.'

People with low self-esteem? Low self-esteem doesn't mean low sense of importance. In fact, often people with low self-esteem believe that they aren't equiped to deal with the tasks life has thrown in their way, as if life cares enough about them to actually set up individual tasks!

So am I advocating that you shouldn't try to fight this self-importance and lower your vision of yourself? No, not at all. I believe exactly the opposite. You feel self-important for a reason, that's because you are making sure you survive. That's your job, that's your obligation. You shouldn't be embarassed that you see yourself as more important as everybody else. Instead you should embrace it.

You should utilise it.

If you believe yourself important then that means you'll have the courage to ask for what you believe you deserve. Ultimately what you get is what you ask for, mixed in with what others believe you deserve. The more your willing to ask, the more you will generally get. What is more, when you truly believe in your own self-importance, you will find other people will start to believe it to. These people can then help you get what you believe you deserve. Tasks will become much easier, because people will be willing to help you complete them.

A belief in your own self-importance will also often lead to a feeling of self-confidence and it is self-doubt (the opposite of self-confidence) that most often gets in the way. Always question yourself, but never doubt. Easier said than done, but a good one to remember, anyway.