The Power of Interest

I don’t know when it happened, but I think one of the biggest changes that has happened inside me over the last few months has been that I’ve started to really like and become interested in people. I’m sure that this isn’t the only reason that I’ve had such a positive response off late (maybe I just fit better with the Indian people than with the South East Asians) but I believe that it has played a major role.

With every person I meet I try to show a genuine interest in them. This isn’t pretend, either, this is honest interest and overwhelmingly people have responded well to it. I think most people are too busy in their own heads to give their full attention to the people around them. Therefore, when somebody does do that people feel special. it’s a bit like shining a spotlight on them and giving them centre stage.

Of course, not everybody is interesting. I’ve met a great deal of people that I’ve come to realise I have nothing in common with and not surprisingly I do lose interest in them; but the key is that they have my interest from the start and it is theirs to lose.

For every single person in this world there is one thing that interests them above all others and that is themselves. A person can never get out of their own head. They are permanently in there and everything they do, see and feel is always in relation to their own experiences. When you take an interest in them you focus on what they think about and care about the most. Naturally, they are going to appreciate that.

Can this type of interest be faked? It probably can be, but I think you’ll find that as you try to fake it you end up actually feeling it. When you properly manage to connect with another person (or establish rapport with them, as it’s called in the official jargon) you can’t help but enjoy it and when somebody truly enjoys the company of another person, that second person feels complemented on a subconscious level. It starts a positive feedback loop that ends up really enhancing both people’s day (if not lives).

I find that my life has been greatly enhanced by the huge number of people I call friends over here. Just their company would be enough, but that is far from all they give. They help me when ever they can, they bring me to places and let me experience things that otherwise I wouldn’t have experienced and they introduce me to ever more people with whom I can then start the whole process again.

That’s the great thing about being likeable; people actually want to introduce you to their friends as your friendship reflects well on them. Therefore I suggest that if you want to meet more people you try to take a real and active interest in the people you already meet. In that way you’ll soon find your social circle expanding and your social interactions being fuller and more enjoyable than they ever were before.