Black and White

There was a book that I saw in the book store the other day called ‘social vampires’. The cover said that it was concerned with those people in your life that drain you of positive energy. People that are like energy sinks, just bringing people down with their very presence and their attitude. I didn’t pick it up because I thought I didn’t have any such people around me. Last night I realised I was wrong.

There is this one person who is exactly that. You might know these these types of people; they are determined to pull everybody around them into the same quagmire of unhappiness and discontentment, because they are too stubborn and stuck in their ways to find their own way out. This is the type of person who will constantly tell you how to lead your life, when you know you’ve got things sorted out better in your own head than they do.

They are convinced they have the right answers when you can see that the answers they’ve got aren’t satisfying them or leading to any type of happiness or self-fulfilment. I think what I’ve noticed with these types of personalities (and I’ve met a few I now realise, thinking back) is that they don’t understand that there are actually other versions of reality that are just as right as their own. It’s their way or the highway.

Last night I chose the highway. Bugger buying that book. Why spend 5 US when there is a much simpler way to deal with these types of people? Avoid. ‘Give me maximum warp, Scotty, we need to outrun this monster!’ I’ve worked too long and too hard at improving my internal world to let some semi-stranger come along and try to disrupt it. I am not a councillor, I can’t prescribe medication and frankly I’ve got much more interesting and better people around me to devote my time and attention to.

So late last night I finally walked out, along with most of the rest of the group, and we instead went and had tea in the lobby of hotel. Sounds like a strange thing to do in the wee hours of the morning, but when choice is limited you’ve got to make do with what ever comes along. (Remember, the clubs and bars close here at 11:30)

It was amazing how the mood changed after that. We sat around and cracked jokes about everything and the kitchen sink (especially each other) and ended up spending numerous hours in hysterics. I’m sure the people in the hotel thought we were high on something, but if any of us were they didn’t have the decency to share it with me. There was tea of course, and cigarettes and down in the car a premixed bottle of vodka-coke that we frequently nipped out to sip, but for the rest it was just about timing, tone and delivery.

In the end we tried to slip off with a real feather boa that had been found on the premises. We tried distraction, bullying, bribing, begging; in short we tried everything but violence (and that’s just because they took away our cutlery). They wouldn’t let us take it, however. It was, apparently, property of the hotel. My bet was that it had been left there by some other guest and they’d just decided it looked good on one of the shelves. From forgotten and ownerless party wear it was somehow converted into hotel property just by the act of long-term association. Well, we’ll just have to be more sneaky next time.

I got in at 6:30 this morning, which I think is quite an achievement considering the clubs had closed seven hours earlier. All-in-all a good night with two important lessons that I kind of already knew, but it is always good to have reinforced: ‘Sometimes just walk away’ and ‘If they haven't told you you can't, don't ask them if you can’.