Boundaries

Does anybody else ever have the feeling that their lives are divided into chapters? That you could really sit down with a pen and your timeline and draw lines where you can say ‘there is a boundary here, this is where things change’? Obviously I do – otherwise I wouldn’t be writing about it.

And obviously I’ve just passed such a line. Of course, it might be easier for me to have these lines since moving from country to country is a very good way to close one chapter and open another. Still, the line was there and I passed over it – pretty specifically when I crossed the border from India into Holland (yes, Germany is getting ignored in this case, but I invoke poetic licence plus – obviously – that it’s Germany and they can be safely ignored as Mr. Chamberlain proved so aptly just before the second world war).

This line has made my life a great deal more serious. Suddenly it’s all about money management, people management, debt management and career management (and I’m not even really in management!) You could say I managed to pass a management line. (I obviously didn’t pass any humour line, but thanks for pointing that out Bradley).

I have to say, I actually enjoy it. Slowly I’m getting into the swing of actually doing my ability some justice. Or rather – I think I’ve always done my ability justice, but now I’m slowly starting to get other people to sit up and take notice. I’m starting to learn how to sell myself.

People are actually starting to listen to me.

Scary, isn’t it? Well don’t worry yourself too much, though some people might be listening to me now – most still laugh sardonically directly afterwards. So the big question now becomes, will this trend continue? Will I someday in the future actually have an audience when (if) I have something important to say?

Secretly I always hoped that this blog would be a place where slowly but certainly more people would accumulate and read my ideas. That didn’t happen. My audience has stopped growing and hovers now continuously just below the 10 hits per day. No complaints, of course. I’m happy that it’s above zero. At least my ideas and adventures have always been at least interesting to some.

Still, as I reiterated a few days ago once again (not here, mind you, but I did reiterate it) my ambition is to make a difference in this world and the only way that I can ever make a difference is to have people listen to me. I realise now that the best way to accomplish that is to not just be good at what I do, but excellent. It is that drive towards excellence that has been sharpened by my journey back ‘home’.

That breakthrough I’ve been waiting for might happen in a moment, but it takes decades of work. I started late – so I have to work twice as hard to catch up. I’m willing to put in the hours every day, let’s hope that therefore people will someday soon give me the time of day.