Elegance

I was sitting on the beach with a couple of mates yesterday, discussing women. In fact, I’ve been sitting on the beach for the last two months with a couple of mates discussing women; but yesterday was a little bit different from those other days, because mixed in with the usual ‘ooh, she’s got big ones!’ and ‘why do whales wear thongs?’ was a topic of slightly more sophistication; namely the topic of elegance (no pun intended).

We discussed how elegance was attractive, but since we were at an Irish wake (yet another person I knew has died, January has been a vicious one) and we were celebrating it in Irish style (i.e. we were on the piss) the topic soon got dropped.

Still, the idea kept bouncing around in my head and I’ve come to the conclusion that elegance is, as a matter of fact, a common characteristic in all the women that I find attractive. Elegance isn’t just a nice bonus; it seems that to me it is essential.

For example, I was at a live music night and a few chairs down there was a woman who I initially thought was truly stunning. The moment she started to move, however, she became a little less attractive, then she started to talk her stock dropped a little more and turned herself from a true beauty into a monstrosity. It was much like one of those films, where the girl is a real stunner until she smiles and reveals teeth that are more appropriate for a donkey’s mouth.

The reason? There was no grace to her. Her movements were choppy and hard, her voice was uncouth and her laugh belonged to a woman five times her weight, who could carry ten litre glasses and drink them too. She acted like a man with not enough hair and too much belly.

Alright, so she now we know she wasn’t elegant, but that doesn’t answer what elegance is. Truth be told, I’ve only thought about it for a little bit, so I’m not sure this will be my final answer, but right now I think elegance is largely an awareness of your body and the way it moves. It has something to do with the efficiency and speed of a person’s movement. That is probably why many people say elegant women float, it’s because their movements are so efficient and calm that they don’t have that up and down jarring motion that is common in almost everybody else.

Another part of elegance is that it is not masculine. Don’t get me wrong, men can be elegant, (though it is less common) but elegance isn’t masculine. Elegant men will doubtlessly often be called gay and quite possibly many elegant men are actually gay (though certainly not all gays are elegant). Masculine behaviour is hard and edged. If I was asked to associate materials with masculinity, it would be bone, steel, sweat and blood. None of those four things can be considered elegant.

Therefore, women that act like men are – by definition – not elegant; they appear unnatural and uncouth. Of course, maybe they are perfectly happy not being elegant and that is their choice, of course. Just as it is my choice (unconsciously, I might add) to not be interested in them. I’m sure there are enough men who don’t give a damn, just as there are enough women that do; and thus everybody remains happy.