Nice People Finish Last?

I finished the book ‘The Art of Seduction’ by Robert Greene yesterday. It was a bit of a dry read, but interesting nonetheless. The book tries to look at seduction by way of literature and historical figures, examining the different kinds of seducers and how they seduce and, in the process, trying to get at the underlying theory of seducing (so no ‘do this and then do this’ guide, unfortunately).

Though it does look at how to get a person of the opposite sex into bed, the book is about a great deal more than that. It tries to examine how we can make a person fall for us, completely and utterly. It tries to show how a person can be manipulated into almost any position. The book doesn’t pull its punches, either. Throughout the entire book the person being seduced is always referred to as the victim, for example, and on numerous occasions Mr. Greene advices us to leave all morality at the door.

Seducers, he explains, have to be amoral. They have to purposefully lie, inflict pain, provoke negative emotions and stir the pot. If they don’t, then they will never be true seducers, as they will always end up being plain and boring. Nice people, according to Mr. Greene, finish last in the game of seduction (and he does, indeed, refer to it as a game).

I guess that’s understandable. Seduction does, at its base, have a direct and necessary link to manipulation and manipulation, by its very nature, is unethical. I guess you could theoretically argue about the means serving the ends, but the means on its own are always questionable.

This has put me in a quandary. You see, I don’t want to stop being nice. I actually like people and have serious problem with purposefully doing them harm. Though I admit freely that I am no saint, making the step from not being a saint to being an active and willing villain seems a bit too big.

So does that mean I’m doomed to finishing last? Does that mean I’m going to be stuck behind those people that actively set out to manipulate people into the position they want them in? Does that mean it actually pays to be, if you’ll excuse my French, an asshole?

Is this secretly actually what we want? If Mr. Greene is to be believed the answer would be a resounding yes. He basically says that people of all stripes and sorts miss emotional, intellectual and, of course, sexual excitement; be it positive or negative. They want to be whisked away from their mundane life and give into fantasy; it doesn’t actually matter if that fantasy is largely built on deception.

The problem is, that a lot of the things he says ring true. People do seem to want to be tempted and corrupted. People do want to give into reckless abandon and escape from the restrictions of their own conscience and the social codes. The reason they don’t is largely because of fear and a lack of opportunity.

So where does that leave morality? Where does that leave ethics? Where does that leave me?