of Passion and Weakness

How ever much I might complain, I love being busy. I whinge and bitch, but in truth I enjoy every second of it. I love the exhaustion, I love the stress, I love the feeling that I’m actually doing something worthwhile.

No, my worst enemy is not doing too much, it is doing too little. The problem, I’m afraid, is that laziness often pushes me towards not doing enough. I’m quick to waste a few hours here, a bit of time there, even when I feel guilty as hell afterwards.

Slowly, ever so slowly, I’m getting over it. The laziness is in retreat. The computer games are a rare indulgence now, and often bore me within a few days. I’ve forced my sleep from the half day phenomenon from university down to about seven and a half, even on weekends, and I’ve thrown out the fantasy and trash fiction in favour of slightly sturdier reading (as you might have noticed). Still, there is a way to go.

I still remain far too reactive. How ever much I might expound the value of the proactive individual, I myself am not always active enough. I often mentally let things sit till just before their ‘expiry’ date (like my taxes), nor do I go out of my way to find work to keep me busy.

For example, I’ve been asked to send some work samples last Wednesday and I haven’t done it yet. True, this is the first moment I’ve actually had time to do anything of the sort, but instead of doing it I’m sitting here typing on my Blog.

I think of all my short comings – including my brusqueness, my pride, my judgemental nature, my inattention to details and my selfishness – my laziness is the one that holds me back the most. So that’s the one that I’m tackling. For those of you reading this, I’d appreciate it if you can give me a kick upside the ass, every so often, just to help me along. That’d be much appreciated.